Well actually...I need to find him...apparently!!!

This was brought to my attention last week by a man on the bus...he sat next to me for a good portion of my journey, quietly reading his bible...me quietly reading a juicy novel...he turns to me at Denmark Hill and ask whether I am a christian. Somewhat taken aback, I replied that although I believe I was not affiliated to a church.

He then went on to extoll the virtues of visiting such a place, not to mention the many benefits. The thing is, after listening to him, most of what he said made sense. Nearing his destination he gave me a pen and asked me to write my telephone number, I did this without

a second thought...he called and we have since had many interesting conversations...hoodwinked...you think???

Is it just me???

I was disturbed last evening by
a hullabaloo...now...living next door to a bunch of care in the community I usually let these
things slide, but, I looked...
and yep...wish I hadn't...there
was a man standing there having
a very loud conversation with the pavement...now I ask you
...are they closing in or what???

...not so much as confused...

Does NO! suddenly mean yes??? One of my viewees (the rather timid-looking one) has become a stalker. To date he has had three different branches of the estate agents call me, all to highlight his "seriousness" in my flat. The last call was today, when he asked them to reiterate that although he could not up his offer any further than originally...offers that were rejected THREE TIMES...he was still very keen that his offer be reconsidered. A woman of so few words...I said NO...AGAIN!!!

My reputation precedes me…obviously!!!

I am now gainfully employed...it had to be done after all...what with my flat still on the market, steadily depleting funds and boredom as a constant companion...what's a girl
to do...right?

AND…I have staff…after promising myself that I would NOT do that to me EVER again…alas there are only four and they are all male…heaven!!!

While considering my current position, I went for an interview, on arrival something felt familiar and I realised I had actually interviewed there some seven years ago. I distinctly remembered not liking the individual I met, however, operating on the assumption that far too many years had passed to encounter the same person, I proceeded…you know what I’m going to say!!!

The only difference about this meeting was that she “knew” me…had heard "sooo" much about me and speculated on why I would “give up” such a “marvellous” job in the middle of a recession…she thought I was “verah brave” …anyways…halfway through the interview, answering the questions like I was auditioning for Mastermind I noticed no one was writing anything, with competency-based interviews this is a must, it dawned on me that I was not actually being interviewed but brought there to be gawped at!!!

Later, a former colleague received a call, asking for the “low-down” on me…what a wasted afternoon as the conclusion was made that it was not a good fit by me and I was over-qualified, by them!!!

Fed Up Much???

And off to work we went...short-term booking...which is now over and I am back to square one...BORED...and maybe a little poor!!!

Despite the teeth gnashing and foot stomping I am still no further along in the process of selling my flat...WHY? I hear you ask...it may be because since putting it on the market some FIVE months ago, I have had the sum total of TWO viewings!!! No...we are not counting the first estate agent (the slimy, sacked one) as we are unsure WHAT he actually did...NO-OH-OH...this is with the new agency. The first was a young lady who said that although she "loved" the flat and had missed out on a similar one a few doors down, she was unprepared to pay the asking price...exit stage door left!!!

The second, a rather timid-looking, not so young man...this is the reason I make myself scarce during viewings...who preceded each question with an apology and a small bow...has yet to say anything!!!

Alas...as a friend recently observed...I may be here a while yet!!!

Hi Ho Hi Ho...It's off to work we go!!!

I know, it hasn't been a week, but already the days yawn before me...with daytime television trying to kill off the few brain cells I have and books, of which I am reading one a day, I simply can't make myself any busyER.

In Idledom where I currently dwell, there is little to keep me amused or occupied...there are a number of places I could visit...Tedium, Humdrum and Abeyance, however, I find I have somewhat exhausted those avenues...dear I say it? I miss the City...well not the City "per se" more like working...so...sing it with me...Heigh Ho...

No need to thank me...

...denizens of London...the miniature heatwave I brought back was purely for selfish reasons!!!

After suffering through 9 hours of a two year old jolting my seat and her mother telling her an infinite number of times to "stop kicking the lady's chair" but at the same time using the back of that very chair to constantly heave her bulk up to visit the facilities...not to mention the said child's constant screaming and general bad behaviour...premium just ain't what it use to be!!!

To a slight hiccup with the taxi driver, who was convinced he was waiting for a man (James Mendi)...I arrived home to fire my estate agent...who acted surprised, but immediately removed me from his site, met with his replacement...who was optimistic but not overly so, unpacked, took receipt of my shopping, which I had the ingenuity to do online while abroad, booked a much needed appointment with my hairdresser and went to sleep...only to be woken by a friend who had been frantically trying to reach me for weeks and was passing, saw the for sale signs and was worried I had sold up and disappeared without telling him...he stayed till after 01:00...I woke today with a headache accompanied by the flu that was receding...glad to be home...well... the sun did follow me!!!

Penultimate day in Paradise...

Despite my efforts and prayers to the Ash Gods, it appears that I will be boarding that London-bound plane!!! I do not despair though as I believe I have found my builder...still awaiting a final quote...

This has been a most interesting exercise, having interviewed 7 builders and only finding two worthy of a second look. My six weeks went in but a blink of an eye, but I have achieved much. I ended my last evening with a delicious meal and superb company, a perfect end...now back to London and my SO FIRED Estate Agent. I have a meeting set up with a replacement on arrival, let's hope this company has less froth and more coffee!!!

Mendi Scissor Legs?

Today I fell...and NO...I was not in the least bit inebriated...that was last night!!! I slipped on wet ceramic tile and managed to perform a straddle split any gymnast would have been proud to own...the only thing is...I'm in agony.

Self diagnosis tells me I have pulled my ham string or injured my Biceps Femoris at the very least. My hosts, who I am suing by the way, have been most gracious, Rolf furnished me with a crutch, and Nikki kindly ice-packed my injury, after some manhandling (me not her). However, this will not sway me from bringing separate civil suits against them!!!

Some may say this is just a ploy to extend my already ridiculous sabbatical...I refute this most fervently as I cannot wait to get back to good ol' Blighty for some rain, sleet and SMOG!!!

The Culinary Terrorist...

She'll probably balk at this, but the above-mentioned title goes some (and only some) way to describe my host. Nikki has won this accolade hands down with combinations such as scrambled eggs with sardines, fried fish and pesto pasta, not to mention her suggestion of the day, curry beef with macaroni cheese...the woman is unbalanced...my abused pallet cries out for mercy!!!

Taking pity on my hosts, their children (who don't actually seem to mind...my condolences to all future spouses) and my persecuted taste buds, I decided to take over culinary duties for a time. Starting off simply with a dish of chicken wings with guava and jerk, I had in mind an accompaniment of fried potatoes and sweet corn, however, Nikki suggested that we have both potatoes AND pasta, I didn't dear ask whether that would be mixed together.

My second dish, stewed chicken with aubergines, an accompaniment of rice and plantain. For the children I made cheesy pasta with frankfurters. Nikki somehow managed to mix all of the above on her plate and enjoy it...Mmm. On to my next dish, which will be ochra and rice, with salt meat and saltfish, this should go down a treat...its as she likes...everything mixed together!!!

Well...Its Almost Like Being In Love...

Guinness Ice Cream...namely Power...aptly named as it has the power to draw sounds of delight and expressions of deep joy from your person at every stupendous mouthful... lamentations more akin to the bedroom than the palor!!!

A tub disappeared before my eyes, there were only three of us for crying out loud...the other two were just too greedy me thinks...wolfing down the delicate mixture without genuflection...I savoured every last titillating morsel... alcohol in the guise of a dessert...pure ambrosia...thus satisfying two of my basic requirements with minimum effort!!!

...or an Architect...

...NO...REALLY!!! Had my architect fix a few teeny tiny things, namely adding six feet to my landing and rotating the staircase, which was NOT as instructed in the first place and HE CHARGED ME...the b'stad!!! It must have taken him all of 15 seconds (maybe 15 minutes) to complete the task and yet he billed me??? I guess he has to recoup on the sum I refused to pay for my pool house drawings, paid him half...which is what I deemed them worth...but that was years ago. With hindsight, maybe should have gone to someone with less of a grudge...you think???

On a totally different note...went shopping today, must point out that this is not actually the first time, however, I was on a mission...went in search of wine and blue cheese...and found it...Gallo Wine and Roquefort in abundance, not to mention blue brie, camenbert and gorgonzola...fantastic, blue cheese, bacon and tomato bagel (toasted) for breakie tomorrow!!!

Now I'm thinking...what will I miss not being in London? As I gaze out at my current view (nice) with a glass of wine in hand (nicER), thinking about my breakfast in the morning (Mmm) nothing immediately springs to mind!!!

Tasty...

...they have found me and made a veritable feast!!! I blame the rain...stirring them from their slumber or whatever it was they were doing...and here I was thinking I was safe in Breezy Heights (favourable name for my tower when I'm less than drunk), but no...to add insult to injury, they sing to me while they bite...mosquitos got talent!!!

I have 4 quotes before me...four very different quotes that range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Let us dispense with the Builder A, B, C etc and rename them Charlatan 1, 2, 3 etc!!!

So Charlatan 1, which was Builder A came back with almost half of the original quote missing. Charlatan 2 (Builder B...should I keep this up?) has somehow manage to knock off a third from his price. Charlatan 3, came in the highest...thus managing to eclipse both Charlatans 1 and 2...didn't see that coming...but was most obliging, leaving me with the assurance that "we cud wok sumting out".

I ask you...EC$150,000 (£37,500) for the shell of a pool, which entails: excavation, steel work and casting...to clarify...I wouldn't be able to swim in the damn thing until finished, which would cost a further EC$50k (£13k)!!!

Charlatan 4...whose quote came in second highest (comparatively speaking as he neglected to quote for the pool house and pool), advised that this was his first and best offer!!! When asked if I wanted him to go ahead and quote for the missing components, a polite "not at the moment" was uttered.

Both Charlatans 1 and 2 came armed with a proliferation of excuses as to why they were able to shave their original costs by such spectacular sums, from the omission of steel to the substitution of smaller blocks. BUT...the most entertaining by far, was Charlatan 3, who based his quote on a figure he saw on the envelope the plans were in, he had the temerity to inquire how his could be the highest quote submitted when the figure he saw was much higher...needless to say...Charlatans 3 and 4 are definitely out of the race...three still out to tender.

Cheers...

I KNEW all the reprobate behaviour of my youth would someday pay off...and that day is today!!! A guy I have hung out with for many a Carnival and any other excuse for a party has morphed into my saviour...hurrah...turns out he is a Mortgage Assessor (estimates building costs for the banks), he actually laughed at the quotes I have been given thus far. I left his office furnished with a quote more in the realm of my thinking, three new builders and a Cheshire Cat smile...all for the princely sum of a rum (legal tender in Grenada), I offered food to go with that...least I could do...NO...not procuring!!!

Tight as wax...

Last night I was in a fit of giggles at Maho, who was ridiculously inebriated, sprouting spirituality from the Bible and Koran combined...made for interetsting listening, however, who am I to judge when I find myself with a toothache after sushi with Nikki...in need of a quick remedy...which she provided in the form of clove oil...and it worked to a certain extent...but the taste...dreadful...had to wash it down with three, maybe four, or was it five rum and lemonade with a
dash of bitters...LUSH...I KNOW!!!

Felt obliged to actually count the stairs to the Tower (appropriate reference to my place of slumber...especially last night), it took an inordinate amount of time to arrive at my bed, where I promptly crashed...toothache?...what was the question???

On the procurement of a husband...

I have done my best to date...been out more times in the last few weeks than I have in the past year...hung out at the Yacht Club, where the men are either too old or far too old...been to many bars and even went to a 50th last night, where I appeared to be a hit with two brothers, one of which had the opening line of "I'm not usually attracted to big ladies, but there is something very special about you"...not sure whether I was flattered or offended...he went on to tell me an abridged version of his life, including his financial status and ended by wondering whether I was free and disengaged.

A respectable amount of time later, the other approached and started up a tentative conversation, he was not as entertaining as his brother, but he did ask how much longer I would be in Grenada as he would be back in London in a few weeks (does six month on each island) and that I should look out for him, apparently their mother lives in Penge, which is but a stone's throw away from me...I smiled at that...like London is that small...although, knowing my luck...it probably is.

Thirds the charm...did get to chatting to another guy (totally unrelated), who was from...wait for it...Forest Hill...yet another stone's throw away, he's currently residing in Trinidad...made me wonder if South London was suddenly empty!!!

Alas...there were no prospects at the fairground...the fact that all the men were at least a hand shorter than me, did compound matters further...the big I can do something about...but the height???

Its not just this side of the pond...

I had words with my estate agent in London today. He mailed to advise that the Saturday viewing went the way of the last, without incident, and suggested I lower the price further as he feels it is unrealistic without a garden.

I felt the need to point out to him that it was his suggested price, not mine on both occasions it was offered and that him being the agent with a wealth of experience and knowledge should have offered better advice!!!

I also felt the need to point out that the said 20 clients he had waiting in the wings at our first meeting seem to have all but disappeared and that although I fully understand the need for a certain amount of fluff sprouted in order to win new business, there is a distinct feeling of being loosely led up the garden path!!!

His response was not only facetious but down right rude, to that end I have given notice to terminate on my return, advising that we have a contract until May 19th and as such should see what can be achieved in that time. His second response was somewhat contrite, telling me he only had my best interest at heart.

I am surrounded by Charlatans...what I neglected to mention was that I had my sister call a few days ago enquiring about the property and she was told she could see it, but he had other properties in the area that he could show her...so much for my interest and his heart!!!

And that is why I love Grenada...

This morning, woke at 07:33, looked out and smiled. Off to breakfast at Mount Morritz, where there were several marquees laid out and a bouncy castle for the children...we ate an abundance of salt fish, smoked herrings, fried fish, black pudding and bakes, washed down with cocoa-tea and juice.

Back home for a spell and then off to Rolf's parents for lunch at 13:30, where I ate some more, two hours later, in the boat heading for Hog Island for some beers on the beach...what can I say...Grenada Nice!!!

...did I say under no illusions?

Quotes are in and shockingly high....I asked for a shell, not the next candidate for Cribs!!! The challenge (as we no longer have troubles or problems) seems to be the fact that everyone and their mother is a contractor, in laymen terms? THERE ARE NO BUILDERS IN GRENADA!!!

Time for renegotiations me thinks. My initial man (in the interest of protecting the innocent, lets call him builder A) appears to be of a lackadaisical demeanor, which does not bode well for my project. After phoning in his quote, I tried for days to contact him in order to set up an appointment to discuss the figures. On finally reaching him I was told he was fishing all night and would be unable to make my proposed time as he was tired, however, he would the following day. We agreed on 11:00. Some three hours later, I received a call from him asking to move the meeting as it would interfere with his luncheon plans!!! I casually observed that he was not acting like a man trying to win a contract, to which he replied, he eats every day at noon and an 11:00 meeting would "mess up de whole ting".

Builder B has also submitted his quote, albeit incomplete, which is formidably higher (and this is the one I like for it), he did manage to shave off a mere $39,000 as we spoke, MUST have been my pallor...and I repeat...I asked for a shell, not a candidate for Cribs!!!

And here's where that herculean amount of patience comes in...the renegotiations...I have sent them off to "rethink" their quotes as to my mind there is A LOT of shaving to be done and I am assured by both builders A & B that this is a possibility without compromising the integrity of the buildings!!!

In the interim, I have met with builder C and awaiting his quote, although he appears very down-to-earth and somewhat sensible, whether this bears out in the actual quote remains to be seen. Builders D & E scheduled for meetings next week.

The adventure...

I have taken time out from waiting for the flat to sell and given myself a six-week fact-finding mission. I am staying with friends who have recently built a fab house with a spectacular view..as you can see from mine from the hammock.

I have been in Grenada two weeks and in that time have collected my 3 barrels and 1 statue from the port, or customs if you prefer, which was a remarkably simple process. Albeit that the statue arrived broken, without the pieces in the packaging and the barrels missing items, some of which I have yet to identify I'm sure. This skullduggery is being fully investigated by the shipping agent as I type...

Not allowing this to dampen my fervor for the Tropics. I have diligently began interviewing builders, whose quotes I am and expecting any day now. So far, one builder has manage to misquote the wood for my flooring by some 2,000 sq ft...Mmm (finger on pursed lips).

Under no illusions...

Folks...as the above-mentioned title illustrates...I know this entire feat is going to take time, much energy and a herculean amount of patience. That said, the decision has been made and ahead we go.

I would like to say that leaving my job as an Ops Manager in the City of London was the hardest thing, but actually I can't. That was back in February and I decided to sell my flat and take a sabbatical to build that house by the sea and see what I can see.

I am no novice, having lived and schooled in Trinidad, spending my summer holidays in Grenada, not to mention the yearly trips for Carnival. Grenada has always felt like home...but as granny used to say "see me and come live with me are two different things!"